idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
