Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize