Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
