Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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