shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Randomize
