paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Mom said you looked used
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
