do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize