He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
