I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
even my farts smell like vagina
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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