Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
