Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
