just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
