I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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