If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
