I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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