Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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