I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
