I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
