My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
