don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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