Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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