Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize