I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
wow bdsm is so cute
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