i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
