Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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