Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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