Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well I just put wine in my tea
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
