then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
