and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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