What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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