I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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