he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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