Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
