White coat. Heels.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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