My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
