There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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