I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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