I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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