Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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