nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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