I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
