Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
