I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
