peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
