Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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