i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
