Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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