Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
