hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
