i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I need moral support for this bender
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
