Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize