I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
