You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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