i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize