i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize