similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
