problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
