What a fucking waste of an outfit
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
