What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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